"Potee-wah Sainyo Schain"

Ok – Now this has really gone too far.

And there’s really no clever or funny way to ask this: But Where in THEE HELL did all the Americans go??

This disappearance of pretty much MY ENTIRE CULTURE has left me to wonder: Did Jesus Really come back and perhaps I got left?? Maybe Preacher Maddox was right! Or... perhaps, like in Atlas Shrugged, they all just got tired of it, ran off to the mountains of Colorado to create an Achievers' Paradise and I just never got the memo. But either way, this has now become so bizarre that I can no longer wrap my mind around it.

Some time ago, I remember watching the movie “I Am Legend”, with Will Smith. The premise of the movie was something about nearly every human having been finished off by a mutant virus, and he alone is left to figure out what to do or how to fix it. (It is also a rather handy convenience that his character just happens to be a gifted and talented scientist, but I digress.)

So there’s our Will, roaming about the streets of New York with only his gun, his trusty German Shepherd, and his non-stop, overly-insipid flashbacks and memories to keep him company, (a technique that filmmakers use, incidentally, to fill in the blanks of a story when there isn’t time enough to cut into the adventure and mayhem parts – you know, the parts that sell tickets. Ahhh... the mighty flashback!) as he looks for signs of intelligent and unaffected life.

But poor Will, there’s just NO one in the streets. No one to be found anywhere – Not a single soul with whom he is able to communicate.

I know exactly how that feels.

How on Earth... can there not be one single English speaking American within our borders who doesn’t want to earn a living or support their family by way of a motel, a donut shop, a Fast Food Restaurant…?? A Seven Eleven, for God’s Sake??



When I go to the deli counter at the local grocery, as an ADULT, I really don't think I should have to resort to the old parlor game of Charades in order to ask for a simple half-pound of smoked turkey, very thinly sliced, thank you. It’s the most humiliating and embarrassing thing. Please press WHAT??!! And in my own country?? How did this happen??

And yes, I’ve heard it until I’m blue in the ears: “They take the jobs Americans don’t want to take.” Blah blah blah… My response to that is NO… No they don't... they take the jobs that Americans Can No Longer Get, because our government makes laws regarding border security and protecting our interests and then refuses to enforce them.



How is it that a Border Patrol officer can shoot someone trying to enter my country illegally, and then be railed and razzed as a criminal while the ‘victim’ is allowed to SUE, yes, SUE the border patrol agent who was simply doing his job?? (Think about that: Being sued by the people who HIRED you... for Doing Your Job!) And please explain to me how ANY judge or court in this country could not automatically rule in favor of the border patrol agent (who was simply doing what was asked of him when hired) if all the details in the case were deemed to be accurate?

It just seems to me that any barely-thinking person who wanted to cross borders illegally would naturally assume that Part of the Inherent Risk of such a stunt…would be gunfire. Part of the built-in gamble of breaching sovereign borders would be the danger of being stopped by any and all means necessary; up to, and including bullets.

For several weeks now, on Saturday evenings I make my way down to a small town in northern Indiana to play a little music with the old timers. And each week, because I just can't seem to make myself leave the house at a reasonable time, I tend to end up at the same McDonald's drive through(that's in Chicago... in AMERICA, by the way...)for a little on-the-road food. Simple enough. I mean, how difficult can it be to put a #2 order in a bag and send me on my way…?? Unless of course, I should be ordering a “Numero Dos”.

But every week when the order is complete, and I'm instructed to “please drive around”, I pay, receive my change,,, and then hear just about one of the strangest phrases I've ever heard in any language:

“Potee-wah Sainyo Schain”.

This is typically accompanied by a pleasant but not overly enthusiastic smile. And until recently I had just NOT been able to figure it out. I mean, each week I'm thinking to myself Whutin-ee hey-ul?? What could it possibly mean? Is it some sort of curse, or perhaps a blessing in her native tongue?

Well,,, I needn't have waited much longer, as it seems I've finally discovered the true and hidden meaning of the McDonald's Mystery Phrase.

Now shaken from a recent self-imposed state of attempting to at least trying to “look on the bright side”, this now comes full circle to bask in the light of blatant reality.

So after looking at my receipt to make sure the right order was in the bag, for some strange reason, this time I happened to notice the change due: *41¢*

Finally...! The mystery revealed!!

Potee-wah Sainyo Schain
FORTY ONE CENTS YOUR CHANGE!!

NOW... I get it.

And I give up.

¿Cómo se dice en español? “Doomed”